Summary:

Chapter 12, Verse 13: A mature bhakta demonstrates friendship (maitraḥ) and compassion (karuna) without conditional giving or distorted empathy. They're free from excessive ownership (nirmama) and ego (nirahamkara), maintaining equanimity in all situations (sama-duḥkha-sukhaḥ). They're naturally accommodative (kshami), understanding others' stages of development.

Chapter 12, Verse 14: The accomplished bhakta maintains complete satisfaction (santuṣṭaḥ) through seeing Ishvara in every aspect of life. They remain united with the Divine even during challenges due to their mastery of mind, which involves emotional intelligence (manas), critical thinking (buddhi), ability to connect the dots (cittam), and balanced ahankara (healthy I-sense without inflation/deflation). They assess and act while accepting the four possible outcomes (AA4).

Chapter 12, Verse 15: A mature bhakta neither disturbs others nor gets disturbed by them, understanding everyone's different maturity levels. They're free from fear as they remain objective, excessive judgment (vs. healthy discernment), and emotional reactivity due to AA4 formula. 

VERSE 13:
Qualities of an accomplished / mature bhakta (devotee)

अद्वेष्टा सर्व-भूतानां मैत्रः करुणः एव च ।
निर्ममः निरहङ्कारः सम-दुःख-सुखः क्षमी ॥ १२-१३॥
adveṣṭā sarva-bhūtānāṃ maitraḥ karuṇaḥ eva ca ।
nirmamaḥ nirahaṅkāraḥ sama-duḥkha-sukhaḥ kṣamī ॥ 12-13॥

The one who has no hatred for all beings, who has the disposition of a friend, who is compassionate, free from possessiveness, free from doership, equal in pleasant and unpleasant (situations), and indeed, one who is naturally accommodative…

Verse describes person who worked on themselves.

Who is a bhakta (person who is ongoingly relating to the Lord) that BG spoke of so far?

1. Keeps with svadharma (duties, responsibilities) guided by samanya-dharma, recognizing they’re manifestation of Ishvara.
2. Prayers (affect unknown variables which goes into pool of variables). ^{Verse 10}
3. Taking results as prasada (coming from the intelligent web). ^{Verse 11}
4. Emotional intelligence, which includes:
   • Seeing emotions as indicators what to do next. 
   • Pause + think before reacting.
   • Ability to name your emotions.
   • Understanding the root cause of your feelings.
   • Unafraid to share your emotions.

Krishna lists qualities that lead to further expansion…

1. Bhakta has the disposition of a friend (Maitraḥ):
   • They go out of their way to help others. Helping others is helping yourself. Initially contribution feels like effort due to tendency to protect illusionary sense of  “My time, my effort, my energy, my life”. If giving is effortless and your giving doesn't depend on others cheering you about it, you’ve come far in the spiritual journey. 
   • Improper giving: For example, thousands of YouTube content creators create videos with solve intention of getting views on their videos and new subscribers. This is conditional giving. In fact it's a coping mechanism by getting validation from society that “I'm worthy, I'm lovable”.
2. Bhakta is compassionate (Karuna):
   • Human mind is born with empathy. If you see someone in pain, you’ll feel it and feel discomfort.
   • Acting on your empathy is called compassion (when you genuinely make time for them and don’t feel it’s a loss for you).
   • When empathy is hijacked by personal likes/dislikes it manifests as:
     1. Pressure to help all: “If I help one person, I have to help everyone”.
     2. Tit for tat: “This person did this to me in the past, thus I won’t reciprocate”. Erodes empathy.
     3. Others suffering is your source of pleasure: Shows you were feeling small before, and now compared yourself to their smallness, you feel bigger. Solution: See everyone as manifestation of Ishvara. Everyone is sharing this planet, thus you're in no better place then they are. 
     4. Others happiness makes you unhappy: When self-worth is low, your normal smallness becomes even smaller. Fastest way to bring it back up is to criticize them. Solution: Do opposite. Congratulate them for doing well and wish them more success. What if you’re unable to help them? At least pray for them, then let it go.
   • Highest use of empathy/compassion: To contribute to someone’s happiness or well-being.
3. Free from doership (nirmamaḥ nirahaṅkāraḥ):
   • Has a healthy sense of self without excessive ownership (nirmama) or ego (nirahamkara). Capable of loving without controlling others or demanding them stay in your life or getting upset/nasty if they chose to move on. Remaining free from both superiority and inferiority complexes.
   • How to have healthy I-sense? Understand exaggerated doesn’t benefit you; creates anxiety.
4. Equal in pleasant and unpleasant (situations) (sama-duḥkha-sukhaḥ):
   • Recognize sometimes laws are in your favour and sometimes aren’t. 
5. One who is naturally accommodative/forgiving (kshami):
   • Understanding person is at their level of development. Thus you’re not overly critical/judgmental. Also accommodate your imperfections, otherwise discontent.
   • How to be accommodative towards others? When attempting to influence change, need to recognize where in spectrum of change. They can be…
     1. In Denial:
        • Inability to acknowledge a shortcoming. EG: “I’m not lying”.
        • How to accommodate: If keep telling them “Don’t lie”, it’s fruitless + confirming he’s a liar (defences go up). Instead ask innocent questions (doesn’t threaten). Or tell stories of others who lied and suffered.
     2. Defiant:
        • When you say it, they don’t admit it (defiant in reference to you). When another says it, they admit it.
        • How to accommodate: Put them in touch with 3rd person.
        • How to accommodate yourself: Recognize it’s not helping you.
     3. In process of change:
        1. However their speed of change is slow and uneasy. For example they alternate between old patterns and new habits.
        2. How to accommodate: Don’t tell them “You’re still the same person!”. Don’t discourage them. Be supportive.
        3. How to accommodate yourself: Encourage yourself.
     4. Accomplished:
        • Accommodate by giving feedback to encourage them to continue serving the society.

NEXT VERSE: More traits of accomplished bhakta…

VERSE 14:
Accomplished bhakta is always united with Ishvara, has mastery of mind.

सन्तुष्टः सततम् योगी यत-आत्मा दृढ-निश्चयः ।
मयि अर्पित-मनः-बुद्धिः यः मत्-भक्तः सः मे प्रियः ॥ १२-१४॥
santuṣṭaḥ satatam yogī yata-ātmā dṛḍha-niścayaḥ ।
mayi arpita-manaḥ-buddhiḥ yaḥ mat-bhaktaḥ saḥ me priyaḥ ॥ 12-14॥

…the one who is completely satisfied, who is always united, who has mastery over his mind, whose ascertainment is firm, whose mind and intellect are resolved in Me, who is My devotee, is beloved to Me.

One who is completely satisfied:

Every aspect of your life brings presence of Ishvara. This gives you security and contentment. No more need to prove to others how good you are (in which case one feels isolated). If your skills/talents brings joy, and recognize joy is Ishvara’s manifestation, then it’s devotion.

Who is always united:

Challenges you face in every role, you don’t lose sight of the Lord, and don’t enter blame/disappointment mode. If do, bring mind back consistently (remember verse 9). To be objective isn’t always to be in touch with reality, but bring yourself back when notice derailing.

Who has mastery of mind:

Assess situation and act. After acting, recognize many things are out of your control, thus 4 types of results can come back.

Mnemonic: AA4 : Assess, Act, 4 Outcomes

STORY OF MAN: Man was carrying basket of fruits in bus. Someone asked, “why don’t you put basket down?” Man gave various reasons. Other man advised him to put his loads down and let bus carry it for a while. Similarly unload your loads to Ishvara through prayer.

Whose mind and intellect are resolved in Me:

Talks about antahkarana-shuddhi (purification of inner-instrument). Four functions of mind are attended to:

1. Manas: absence of stories/dramas.
2. Buddhi: strong logic. EG: If give right answer for wrong reason, poor logic. Example of poor logic: Doing good to impress others.
3. Cittam: need to connect the pieces into holistic vision. Capacity to retain.
4. Ahankara (I-sense):
   • All functions of the inner-instrument (manas, buddhi, cittam) and body get connected to sense-of-I — and that “I” is mistakenly taken as the final identity. But even I-sense is a function of the inner-instrument. It's required to individuate an experience, to create a sense of individuality for functional reasons. EG: When you talk, you know you’re talking and not someone else.
   • The I-sense, or ego becomes unhealthy when it's inflated/deflated…
     1. Inflated ego: Tendency to look down on others, and they pick it up and avoid you. Solution: Bring it down. Recognize I need others cooperation.
     2. Deflated (I’m no good) ego: Bring it up. You’re co-creator in this universe. You’re given power to know/desire/do.

NEXT VERSE: More traits of accomplished bhakta…

VERSE 15:
Mature devotee isn't disturbed by people

यस्मात् न उद्विजते लोकः लोकात् न उद्विजते च यः ।
हर्ष-आमर्ष-भय-उद्वेगैः मुक्तः यः सः च मे प्रियः ॥ १२-१५॥
yasmāt na udvijate lokaḥ lokāt na udvijate ca yaḥ ।
harṣa-āmarṣa-bhaya-udvegaiḥ muktaḥ yaḥ saḥ ca me priyaḥ ॥ 12-15॥

The one because of whom people do not get disturbed and who does not get disturbed by people, and who is free from elation, intolerance, fear and anxiety, he is beloved to Me.

One who is free from fear:

Fear comes from imagining bad scenarios, which creates incongruent choices.

Solution: Universe is not out there to get you. There’s no unfairness in Ishvara’s order.

People don’t get disturbed by the bhakta:

More one evolves, there’s danger becoming judgmental. EG: “They’re samsaris, lost souls, materialists”.

Difference between judging vs. judgmental:

1. 1. Judging: Evaluating for sake of making a decision.
   2. Judgmental: Not having sufficient data, and coming to premature conclusions. EG:
      • “I have bad vibes about this person”. Correction: “I don’t feel comfortable”.
      • “It’s my intuition”. Correction: Mind is inferring from past. Isn’t always right. EG: “I have intuition she’s my soulmate”. 5 years later, breakup!

Bhakta is not disturbed by people:

He is comfortable in company of others understanding everyone is at their level of maturity.  It's unrealistic for everyone to see things as you see it. 

Also recognizes there are 4 stages of maturity everyone goes through…

1. 1. Victim mode: I’m victim.
   2. Self-reflection: Take responsibility for your growth and actions. May become withdrawn from world. Some believe this is final stage.
   3. Return to world comfortably: After sufficient reflection, you go back to people comfortably.
   4. Inspire others: You become source of inspiration for others. A leader. People are inspired by you.

Order: Initially world was creating discomfort. You retreated. Came back to the world.

NEXT VERSE: More traits of accomplished bhakta…

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Recorded 14 Jan, 2025