Summary:
Chapter 2, Verse 56: A sthita-prajna (wise person) doesn't lack emotions but handles them skillfully. With duḥkha (sorrow), they feel it but quickly bounce back rather than ruminating. With sukha (happiness), they avoid arrogance and comparison-based joy, instead contributing to others' happiness. With bhaya (fear), they distinguish between empirical alertness and catastrophizing. With krodha (anger), they acknowledge it and immediately reframe the situation.
Chapter 2, Verse 57: A sthita-prajna maintains equanimity when dealing with all four types of people: the nurturing, the neutral, the unintentionally toxic, and the deliberately harmful. They set firm boundaries with the latter two, understanding others act from their own pain rather than internalizing it as personal. They avoid unhealthy joy from comparing themselves to others, and don't create negative stories when things don't go their way. Instead, they reframe situations.
Chapter 2, Verse 58: A sthita-prajna resembles a turtle that alternately extends and withdraws its limbs. They regularly withdraw from external engagement to process experiences, reprogram mental patterns, and reframe situations. This withdrawal allows self-repair, developing self-respect and transforming self-criticism into self-introspection. During this time, they heal unconscious patterns that would otherwise govern their interactions. After reflection, they confidently re-engage with the world to test their wisdom.
Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 56:
How a Sthita-Prajna Handles Emotions
दुःखेषु अनुद्विग्न-मनाः सुखेषु विगत-स्पृहः ।
वीत-राग-भय-क्रोधः स्थितधीः मुनिः उच्यते ॥ २-५६॥
duḥkheṣu anudvigna-manāḥ sukheṣu vigata-spṛhaḥ ।
vīta-rāga-bhaya-krodhaḥ sthitadhīḥ muniḥ ucyate ॥ 2-56॥
The one who is not affected by adversities, who is without yearning for pleasures, and is free from longing, fear and anger, is said to be a wise person whose knowledge stays (unshaken).
Intro:
Rather then making a black-white statement, “Wise person is free from sadness, longing, anger” – it’s more nuanced…
How does wise person handle 4 major emotions?
Above question means sthita-prajna has emotions, rather then being free-from them. Let's talk about how he or she handles them…
Duhkha (sorrows/sadness):
- Pain/sorrow can’t be totally avoided. Like all emotions, it's an indicator. You feel sorrow when have love for an object. EG: Stranger doesn’t cry for your mom's death as he/she doesn’t love your mom, but you feel sorrow because you love her. When you have love for a person or an object, its loss invokes sorrow. Similarly, saintly person isn’t indifferent to others’ sorrow or pain, as he has a healthy human heart – contrary to the black-white picture painted where they're almost indifferent.
- Healthy sorrow: After feeling down, you're able to quickly bounce back and reflect on your experience. You have resilience (titiksha).
- Unhealthy sorrow: Unable to pull yourself up. Mind ruminates and creates a discouraging story. Can turn to depression.
Sukha (happiness):
- Most sought emotion, thus it doesn’t seem problematic.
- Unhealthy happiness: When one becomes too successful, arrogance or pride may arise. Forgetting your success (ie: happiness) is product of others contribution, one chases away healthy personalities. It's also unhealthy when happiness is gained from comparing oneself to less privileged.
- Healthy happiness: Congratulates when others are happy, rather then experiencing jealously. Contributes to others happiness.
Bhaya (fear):
- Everyone has empirical fear (makes you alert, senses danger). Let’s you act rationally. Preservation mechanism.
- Unhealthy fear: Imagined future. Catastrophizing. Psychological fear.
- How to free oneself from psychological/unhealthy fear?
- Trust life, “World isn’t unfair. World isn't here to hurt me. Long as I follow dharma, I have little to fear”.
- Affirmation, “Whatever happens to me, I’m capable of dealing with it! I can find solutions”.
- If there is phycological fear of something, perform a SWOT analysis on yourself. What are my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats (anticipating potential obstacles) in this situation?
Krodha (anger):
- Indication of unprocessed pain towards something / someone / society. It can percolate in unrelated areas and guide your decisions. Anger is also connected to sense of justice. If you see someone unfairly treated, it'll incite anger, which isn't “your own stuff”, but an inbuilt program.
- How to deal with anger?
- Acknowledge you’re angry, but immediately follow up with alternative stories, meanings. Remind, “As adult, I have full control to reframe this situation. I define my life alone. Noone defines my life”.
- IF you're angry for being denied something in your childhood, or abused – then give healing to others in the same situation. EG: Large number are psychologists because when helping clients, they're helping themselves.
NEXT VERSE: Sthita-prajna deals with difficult people and situations from facts and objectivity, rather then personal pressures…
Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 57:
How a Sthita-Prajna Handles Difficult Relationships
यः सर्वत्र अनभिस्नेहः तत् तत् प्राप्य शुभ-अशुभम् ।
न अभिनन्दति न द्वेष्टि तस्य प्रज्ञा प्रतिष्ठिता ॥ २-५७॥
yaḥ sarvatra anabhisnehaḥ tat tat prāpya śubha-aśubham ।
na abhinandati na dveṣṭi tasya prajñā pratiṣṭhitā ॥ 2-57॥
The one who is unattached in all situations, who neither rejoices on gaining the pleasant nor hates the unpleasant, his knowledge is well established.
Literal translation implies you’re exactly same in pleasant/unpleasant situations. Deeper meaning is…
Unattached in all situations (especially when dealing with people):
It's easy to remain equanimous or unattached in pleasant situation, with pleasant people. But what about those we don't get along with, don't like us, or relatives how don't treat you as you believe you should be treated? To answer that, let's look at four types of people you'll deal with in your life.
Four types of people you’ll deal with:
1) Good and nurturing:
People who stood by and accompanied your journey. They are a big help. There is love, and healing (showing you blindspots).
2) Good but neutral:
They won’t go out of way to help you, but there for you when possible. Sharing good times, nothing deep.
3) Toxic relationship:
Acting out of own confusions, they create undeliberate hurt onto you. In modern language, “Toxic relationship”, where there’s love, but any kind of argument/disagreement doesn’t lead to healing or introspection or forward movement. End up feeling more miserable, brings you down.
Solution: Draw solid/firm boundaries to put an end to it. Can’t allow anyone to pull you down regularly.
Here's 7 most common toxic or destructive patterns seen in relationships:
1. Gaslighting
- Why it's done: Self-defense mechanism to protect ego or avoid shame.
- What it is: You've made an observation. But when it's brought up, the other makes you question your memory about it, perception, or sanity. They cause you to doubt your judgement, expertise and capacity to be figure things out.
- Example: You catch your partner doing something wrong. Instead of admitting it, they deny it, flip the blame, and make you question what you saw. Such as “You never trust me. That's your opinion!”.
2. Fundamental Attribution Error
- Why it's done: To avoid self-blame and maintain a positive self-image.
- What it is: Judging others’ mistakes as character flaws but seeing one's own as circumstantial.
- Example: You’re late and say, “I hit traffic”. But when they're late, you say, “You're irresponsible”. Or she fails at work = bad luck. But when you fail, that's because you’re incompetent.
3. Shifting Goal Posts
- Why it's done: To keep control, maintain emotional leverage, and secure constant validation.
- What it is: Her definition of “what's enough” keeps changing. Man feels like no matter what he does, he can never reach the bar, causing him to constantly center his life around her needs.
- Example: You meet all her needs, and she still says, “It’s not enough.” You make dinner, help around the house, and the other says, “You don’t care about me” the moment you're unable to do something.
4. Shared-Blame Shifting
- Why it's done: To dilute guilt and feel less responsible.
- What it is: Blaming part of their wrongdoing on you to avoid full accountability.
- Example: She or he yells, then says, “Well, if you hadn’t said that, I wouldn’t have reacted this way”. Or, “I cheated, but you were emotionally distant.”
5. Reactive Guilt-Tripping / Defensive Projection
- Why it's done: To protect ego when feeling criticized or confronted.
- What it is: You're emotionally attacked when you make a boundary request. They get angry so you feel guilty for making a request or setting a boundary.
- Example: You politely ask for a small change, and they act deeply offended. For example, “Can you please close the door after opening it so the wind doesn't bang it” → “Why are you always controlling?! I'm not a little child to be told what to do.”
6. Boundary Invalidation
- Why it's done: To retain control and avoid changing their behavior.
- What it is: The other reframes your boundary as unreasonable or selfish. It makes you feel uncertain or selfish about having your own genuine needs or established boundaries. Makes you feel like your boundary is the problem.
- Example: You ask for quiet time, and she/he says, “You’re being too sensitive. Man up! You're demanding respect. You're asking for too much. Be happy with what you have”.
7. Emotional Withdrawal / Stonewalling
- Why it's done: To punish, regain power, or avoid vulnerability.
- What it is: Withholding attention, emotional involvement, physical affection/sex, communication.
- Example: After an argument, they ignore you for days, hoping you'll apologize, even if you weren’t wrong.
4) Deliberately harmful:
Actively/deliberately doing something to harm you.
Without setting boundaries, the last two can affect your long term mental state. Their problem becomes your problem/pain. It robs your rightful happiness/innocence.
The wise person handles the last two types by reframing and understanding the other is acting out of one’s pain. This way it’s not internalized and made personal (as if it's about you). Then acts according to universal values, assessing what is called for, rather then from own pressures.
The wise person also recognizes the last two types show how firm your knowledge is, and are useful in offering critical feedback which the first two types usually won't give.
EG of Unwise Person vs Wise Person:
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- Unwise (attached to situations): Arjuna throughout the Mahabharata was moving from one emotion to another out of pressure. From letting go (EG: not saying anything while Yudhishthira was losing the kingdom and brothers) — to thinking of escaping in the name of pursuing the final reality, which wasn’t wise according to Krishna. Conversely, a wise person stands up and faces life [like the 1st fish in the Panchatantra story in session 33].
- Wise (acting out of clarity): Rama comes to Lanka and says to Ravana, “There’s still time. Give Sita back, and you’ll be spared”. He didn’t act out of anger. When Ravana refused, Rama’s question was “What next?”. Keeping the screen of the mind clean and exploring in-between options.
Neither rejoices on gaining pleasant (things go your way):
Danger is becoming proud when victorious, thinking, “I’m so lucky, they still haven’t found what I’ve found! I’m so grateful that I have a healthy lifestyle, while he/she doesn’t”. Leads to unhealthy joy, gaining pleasure by comparing self. Also any kind of rejoiceful emotion eventually comes to an end.
Nor hates the unpleasant (things don’t go your way):
Danger is creating a story, such as “I don’t deserve it, it’s not meant for me!”. The moment you change meaning (what you’re telling yourself), the physiology and mental-state changes.
NEXT VERSE: Sthita-prajna (wise person) is like a turtle…
Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 58:
Sthita-Prajna is like a Turtle
यदा संहरते च अयम् कूर्मः अङ्गानि इव सर्वशः ।
इन्द्रियाणि इन्द्रिय-अर्थेभ्यः तस्य प्रज्ञा प्रतिष्ठिता ॥ २-५८॥
yadā saṃharate ca ayam kūrmaḥ aṅgāni iva sarvaśaḥ ।
indriyāṇi indriya-arthebhyaḥ tasya prajñā pratiṣṭhitā ॥ 2-58॥
When, like the turtle that withdraws its limbs, this person is able to completely withdraw the sense organs from their objects, his knowledge is steady.
Wise person is like a turtle
What is a specialty of a turtle? It repetitively spreads and withdraws it’s limbs.
Like that, the wise person takes regular time out to process, to reprogram, to reframe. Then goes out again to bring one's insights into the real world. Then again, withdraws to reflect. Etc.
Taking time out is crucial, because extroverted life is largely governed by the unconscious mind. Thus familiarizing yourself by yourself is the greatest gift you can give to self. Take periodic time to repair scars. Becoming your own healer by developing self-respect, self-belief and self-worth.
For example: Suppose you want to give a speech, but carry unconscious worthlessness towards older generation (IE: Older people won’t listen to me). If haven’t repaired this, your answers towards older person will arise out of your unresolved issues towards older types. Repair this by reminding yourself, “If I’m making sense, person will listen whether they’re young or old”. Need to develop a nurturing inner voice rather than critical voice.
How is withdrawal time being used?
Spending time by yourself is not necessarily a virtue. It depends how you spend time alone. Replaying old narratives, or reprogramming/reframing.
Self-repair is for your own well-being
Doing self-repair involves moving from self-criticism (“I’m a good person but life isn’t treating me well”) — to self-introspection. Then you can confidently bounce back into the world — spread your limbs again and test your wisdom.
Additionally, the more you understand yourself — the more you understand others. Thus able to get along easier, without need to constantly label situations and people, or look down upon them as less spiritually evolved. You become nobler and a source of inspiration for others.
For such a person, prajñā pratiṣṭhitā — knowledge is firm.
NEXT VERSE: Krishna shows journey how one moves from ordinary person to a sthita-prajna…
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Course was based on Swami Dayananda (Arsha Vidya) home study course.
Recorded 30 March, 2025